Raise your hand if you’ve ever been ghosted. You know that frustrating feeling when someone doesn’t reply to an email? Or, at the end of a phone call after someone promises, “I’ll get back with you next week,” And they never do? Or after they ask for a proposal which you meticulously put together, and send off, and follow up and they never respond. They don’t respond!
That exact situation has happened to me. Four years ago, after I gave a presentation, a woman, who I’ll call, Morgan, came right up and said, “Tracy, that was terrific. You’d be the perfect speaker for our team retreat.”
“Great Morgan, thank you. Let’s hop on a Zoom call so I can learn more about what you’re looking for. And how I can help you.”
The next week, we had a Discovery Call. She asked for a proposal. "Very good,” I said, “I’ll send it tomorrow.”
Now, I asked her the magic question, "How would you like me to follow up?” She said, “Well, I need to speak to the committee, so email me in two weeks.” “Got it.”
Two weeks later, I emailed her. “Hi Morgan, Hope you’re doing well. As promised, I’m following up to see where you are in the decision-making process.” Etc. No reply. Two weeks later, I emailed again. No reply. Two weeks later, no reply. I pressed “delete” in my CRM.
Fast forward, TWO YEARS later. I was at a huge awards event in downtown Portland.
The hotel ballroom was packed w 500 people. A gentleman came up to our table that had an open seat and asks, “May my friend join you?” I said, “Absolutely. Come join us. We’d love to have you.” The woman sat down. And we both did a double take.
“Tracy?”
“Morgan?”
You guessed it. It was the woman who'd ghosted me two years ago.
She said, “Oh my gosh, Tracy, Great to see you. You know, I’m in a new department and you’d be perfect to present to my sales team. Plus, we can combine the meeting with our colleagues in Seattle and Boise, Idaho. Let’s talk!"
Reluctantly, I said, “Ok."
So, we had another Discovery Call, and she asked for another proposal, and I asked the same question, “How would you like me to follow up?” She said, "I need to talk w my committee. So, email me in two weeks."
You can guess what happened. In two weeks, I emailed her. Crickets. Two weeks later.
I emailed her again. Crickets. She ghosted me again! And I fell for it I wondered, “Why did she bother to waste both of our time, again?”
If you ghost people because you’re afraid to deliver bad news, here are some go-to lines:
“Thanks for the proposal.”
“We’ve decided, it’s not in the budget.”
“Thanks for meeting with me. The timing isn’t right.”
“Thank you for offering, I’m not interested.”
“I’ve changed my mind.”
“I’ve decided to go in a different direction.”
Or “We’ve chosen another company or consultant or contractor.”
It's ok.
It's business.
Or, if you’ve waited too long to reply and now, you’re embarrassed, reply anyway.
Say, "Thank you for your patience in waiting for my reply.” Or “Please forgive my delayed response.”
And then, tell the truth.
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